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Download File The following is a KSCO commentary. Here is Kay Zwerling: OK. This has been floating around for awhile. Sounds like life will not be much fun in the future. Headlines from the year 2029. Ozone created by electric cars are now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minority are still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.Spotted owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.Baby conceived naturally ? scientists are stumped.Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.Last remaining fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).Iraq still closed off. Physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.France pleads for global health after being taken over by Jamaica. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year, $75.8 billion study: The result is that diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.Average weight of Americans drops to 250 pounds.Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now 9?7? New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. And, Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with a Congressman.IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. And, there you are. These are the headlines in the year 2029. So, maybe it is appropriate for me to cheer you up, finally, and tell you a spontaneous joke. I will.This man and his wife were driving in a car, and he stopped for a red light, he was driving, and then they went on, and a block later a policeman pulled them, and he said ’sir, you were not wearing your seatbelt a block away. And the driver said ?I was so. And the policeman said ?No you were not. You were parked, and I saw that you did not have your seatbelt on. And the driver said, ?But yes I did. Why don?t you ask my wife?? And, so the policeman asked his wife, and he said ?Madam, isn?t it true that your husband was not wearing his seatbelt a block away?? And, the wife paused for a minute, and then she said ?After all these years living with him, I have learned never to cross him when he has been drinking.For KSCO, this is Kay Zwerling. Copyright 2009
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Download File The following is a KSCO commentary. Here is Kay Zwerling: This is called ?The Aunt and the Grasshopper?. And there are two different versions and two different morals. Here is the old version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool, and laughs, dances, and plays the summer away.Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.The moral of the story: Be responsible for yourself.Here is the modern version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool, and laughs, dances, and plays the summer away.Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.America is stunned by the sharp contrast.How can this be that in a Country of such wealth this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer sO'Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing ?It’s not easy being green?. ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing ?We Shall Overcome?.Reverend Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes his home is confiscated by the government green czar. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he does not maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house now abandoned is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. Moral of the story: Be careful how you vote in 2010. For KSCO, this is Kay Zwerling. copyright 2009
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Download File The following is a KSCO commentary. Here is Kay Zwerling.Let’s put politics and other stressful issues on the back burner, and instead talk about the possible healing aspects of honey and cinnamon. If you have paper and pencil handy, that might help.Cinnamon is a spice from a tree, and honey is a sweet yellowish or brownish liquid produced by various bees ? from the nectar of flowers ? and enjoyed as food. No doubt it can be found all over the world where flowers grow. Drug companies would rather not have you know about the amazing healthful affects of the combined use of honey and cinnamon curing certain common human illnesses. First, remember to never boil honey, or put it in the microwave. To do so will kill the enzymes in the honey.Also, honey can be used without any negative effects for any kind of diseases. Today’s science believes that even though honey is sweet, if taken with cinnamon as a medicine, it is not harmful to a diabetic. Also, Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada, in its issue dated January 17, 1995, had listed the following ailments that can be cured by honey and cinnamon, as researched by western scientists.For heart disease: Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread instead of jelly or jam, and eat it everyday for breakfast. It reduces cholesterol, and avoids heart attacks. Arthritis: Take daily, morning and night, one cup of hot water with two tablespoons honey, and one teaspoonful of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly, even chronic arthritis can be cured.Bladder infection: Take two tablespoons cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder. Colds: Take one tablespoon of lukewarm honey with ? teaspoon cinnamon powder daily for a few days. This process will cure most chronic coughs, colds, and clear the sinuses. Upset stomach: Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache, and also clears stomach ulcers. This one is important ? Gas: According to the studies done in India and Japan, honey with cinnamon powder relieves gas. Indigestion: Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey, taken before food, relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals. Influenza: A scientist in Spain has proven that honey contains a natural ingredient which kills the influenza germs. Weight loss: Daily, one-half hour before breakfast, on an empty stomach, and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. If taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Bad breath: People in South America, first thing in the morning gargle with one teaspoon each of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water so their breath smells fresh throughout the day. And, finally, Longevity: Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Take four teaspoons of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder, and three cups of water, and boil to make it like tea. Drink ? cup three or four times a day. It keeps the skin soft, and arrests old age. I think it is too late for me. Life spans also increase and even 100-year-olds start performing the chores of a 20-year-old. Wow. I think I will try it after all. Kudos to my good friend JR in Florida. And, no, I have not Googled this information ? feel free to do it yourself. I will certainly try some of these treatments, especially about extending longevity. If JR is not being facetious ? consuming honey and cinnamon is a very pleasant way to deal with these common ailments. For KSCO, this is Kay Zwerling. copyright 2009
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Download File The following is a KSCO commentary. Here is Kay Zwerling: This little gem has been floating around for a while. It is called ’sack Lunches?.I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment, and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight.Just before takeoff, a line of soldiers came down the aisle, and filled all the vacant seats totally surrounding me.I decided to start a conversation. ?Where are you guys headed?? I asked the soldier seated nearest to me. ?Petawawa. We will be there for two weeks for special training, and then we are being deployed to Afghanistan.After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for $5. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I decided a lunch would help pass the time. I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. ?No. That seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably would not be worth $5,? he said. ?I will wait til we get to base. And his friend agreed.I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane, and handed the flight attendant a $50 bill. ?Take a lunch to all those soldiers,? I said. She grabbed my arms, and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me, saying ?My son is a soldier in Iraq, it is almost like you are doing it for him.Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked ?Which do you like best ? chicken or beef?? ?Chicken,? I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of the plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from First Class. ?This is your thanks,? she said. After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the restroom. A man stopped me. ?I saw what you did,? he said. ?I want to be part of it. Here. Take this. He handed me $25. Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the flight Captain coming down the aisle. When he got to my row, he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, and said ?I want to shake your hand.Quickly unfastening my seatbelt, I stood and shook the Captain’s hand. With a booming voice he said ?I was a soldier, and I was a military pilot. Once someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot. I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers. Later, I walked to the front of the plane, so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another $25 in my palm.When we landed, I gathered my belongings, and started to deplane. A man stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned and walked away, without saying a word. Another $25.Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them, and handed them $75. ?It will take you some time to reach the base,? I said. ?It will be about time for a sandwich. God bless you all. Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers have given their all for our Country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seems so little. A Veteran is someone who at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to the United States of America for the amount of up to and including his life. That is Honor! And there are way too many people in this Country who no longer understand that, and it is so sad. May you have the strength and courage to pass this along to everyone you know. And kudos to you David Dunworth for sharing this beautiful little jewel with us. For KSCO, this is Kay Zwerling. copyright 2009
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